Friday Five - Pittsburgh-Isms

Whether or not you live in Pittsburgh, if you've met someone who has or does, you've heard the infamous Yinzer accent. In fact, if our friends over at Greg and Donny are telling us the truth, you don't ever even have to leave Johnstown to experience our fantastic own take on the English language (PS, I love those guys, and you really should too).

But moreso than the accent, it's the words and phrases we come up with. There's the classic 'hey yinz guys,' or any combination of words that involves going 'dahntahn' or buying 'chipped ham,' but I have a special interest in entire phrases that are both full sentences and only recognizable to Pittsburghers. It's a good way to find your own people when you're abroad. For example, there's a special place in my heart for whatever displaced or road-tripping Yinzer it was in Cuyahoga Falls who started a "Here we go, Steelers" chant as we were exiting the Blossom Music Center after a Dave Matthews concert. (And to that extent, I have to mention the guy who yelled 'HAIL TO PITT!' at me in the lot for the Alexandria, VA Dave show, which was the last known sighting of my favorite blue & gold t-shirt. Still don't understand where that thing went...)

Anyway, I digress. I'm trying to come up with a comprehensive listing of Pittsburgh phrases, and I'm going to start you off with five that I love.

#5. Kennywood Outfit:
While I've been Googling around, looking for phrases that I may have missed, I found a mention of "Kennywood Outfits." I had almost forgotten this entirely - all the Pittsburgh area schools have 'Kennywood day,' which is a chance for you to buy a really cheap Ride-All-Day pass in the cafeteria on a certain afternoon. Then, on your school's Kennywood Day, you would get all geared up and divide your friends into even-numbered groups (if it was something that divided nicely by four, you were set for pretty much any ride in the park) and head to Kennywood, feeling particularly important, because it was *your* school's day. So of course, for this momentous yearly occasion, you had to pick a Kennywood Outfit, which was the most important thing you'd wear all summer, probably. Unless, of course, you were like my tiny high school, who got stuck with the first weekend in May (or last weekend in April, if we were really lucky) as your Kennywood Day, in which case, you'd never see your Kennywood Outfit because it would be under your snowsuit and scarf.

#4: Kiss My Ass Under the Kaufmann's Clock:
While this phrase is probably now defunct, as our favorite downtown department store has been bought out, I had to mention it. Since I first heard that you could tell someone to kiss your ass under the Kaufmann's clock, I've always found this to be a great retort, particularly when in a verbal hockey debate with a Flyers fan. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, this may not have been such a popular phrase for anyone who wasn't just mastering use of the word 'ass' in or around 1991. But it really should have been! (I know it's a Macy's now, but don't we all know that as the Kaufmann's clock still? Can we bring this phrase back?)

#3: That's It, Fort Pitt:
Anybody who grew up with Pittsburgh parents has probably heard the phrase, "That's it, Fort Pitt." My understanding is that this was originally a slogan for Fort Pitt Brewing Company, but it's used as a general end to things ("The Buccos are under .500 already, and it's only May? That's it, Fort Pitt!") However, as a kid growing up in the 'Burgh, it was also usually the thing your dad said to shut you up when you were whining. "No, you're not getting a pony; that's it, Fort Pitt." Not sure if it was because we were all sitting there going, "What the hell does he mean by that?," but it always seemed to work.

#2: Kennywood's Open:
"Kennywood's Open" is a great phrase, because it means two things at once: not only can you ride the Thunderbolt at the present moment, your fly is down. For people who didn't seem to be clued in to the phrase, we would throw in an, "And the rides are about to begin..." if he or she didn't zip up fast enough.

#1: Anything Mike Lange Says:
No Pittsburgh phrase list would be complete without the famous Mike Lange-isms, which could cover an entire blog entry on their own. (For non-Yinzers: Mike Lange is the radio voice of the Pittsburgh Penguins - fomerly the TV voice. Really, no better sportscaster around.) Although I've never tried it, I bet you could single out your fellow Yinzers at a crowded out-of-town bar during the first round of the playoffs by yelling, "Buy Sam a drink, and get his dog one too!" My favorites are, "She wants to sell my monkey," and "How much fried chicken can you eat?" although the latest, "Slap me silly, Sidney" is kind of growing on me. Other notable Mike Lange-isms: "Scratch my back with a hacksaw," "Michael, Michael, Motorcycle," "Never Teach a Pig to Sing," my former roommate's favorite, "Get in the fast lane, Grandma, the Bingo game is ready to roll," and probably the most-quoted, "Elvis has just left the building." (Is it time for hockey season again yet???)

I plan to keep adding to this list. I'm a sucker for those Things that Aren't There Anymore Rick Sebak films, and a comprehensive only-in-Pittsburgh phrase list is surely going to spawn the next big hit. Help me out - what are your favorites?

For now, this is my list, and that's it, Fort Pitt. :)